A Tale of Two Decembers

I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting on the past year and making grand plans for 2014 along with the rest of the world. 2013 was a wild ride. It was heartbreaking and rough, joyous and beautiful. I probably learned more about myself and who I want to be in that time than I have at any other point in my adulthood.

I had such plans to start 2014 with a bang. I had a specific list of goals. I had a plan in place. And then family drama happened. The van broke down in spectacular fashion *twice*. Everyone was incredibly sick. The house got ahead of me. And I started the year feeling like a failure.

December 2012, final walkthrough

One of my goals for 2014 is to be more organized. I know, me and the rest of the world. I’ve always been a procrastinator, but I’ve always pulled through when it was just me. Now I have a family to take care of and a household to run. My old habits haven’t transferred to this lifestyle well at all and it’s time for me to adjust. I’ve been making sizable donations every month. I’ve been cleaning and decluttering room by room. In the middle of a bout of feeling extra sorry for myself, I started working on organizing my pictures. They are a mess beyond measure and I am constantly terrified of losing my family’s history.

As I was working my way through them, I came across pictures from the final walkthrough when we were buying our house. It was one of the most stressful times of my life. We nearly lost it more than once because of our bank. We wanted this house so much and imagined our family in it forever. It was empty and needed so many updates, but it was our dream house. I can remember taking the picture of the crazy wet bar and wondering what I was going to do with that space.

December 2013

Sometimes, something as simple as a photograph can knock some sense into you. I looked at these two pictures and saw how good life is. Life happens and it isn’t always happy or easy. I haven’t handled everything gracefully and didn’t start this year in a good space.

It doesn’t matter when you start. What matters is that you do.

So I didn’t start a magical new existence on January 1. My goals remain and I’m clawing my way towards them. I can look at that hideous empty wet bar of a year ago and remember that feeling of desperation, but then see our Christmas decorations and gorgeous baby in the same space.

Here’s to 2014, friends. A year of change, positivity, and goal-getting.